


Diamonds and Tricksters

by kirargent



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Thieves, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 04:39:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2415275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirargent/pseuds/kirargent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are certain perks that go along with being small and girly and awkward: namely, if you're secretly a big-time criminal, no one ever suspects you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diamonds and Tricksters

**Author's Note:**

> [scarlettwidows](http://scarlettwidows.tumblr.com) said: a Kira/Malia Bonnie & Clyde sorta AU?? and Malia is the one doing all the risky dangerous moves and Kira is just so concerned and awkwardly unsure but she stands guard bc she doesn't know what she'd do without Malia so she kicks ass and takes names while Malia is getting the most valuable dinosaur bone or the oldest clay bowl in the world or the third largest ruby or whatever other job they're on currently uwu

This, Kira thinks, is not a good plan. And for _Kira_ to think a plan is bad, it's really gotta be questionable.

But Malia had insisted, and Kira's been in the habit of saying “yes” to that girl since she first agreed to go on a date.

So, the plan. The one that is very very Not Good. Heart thudding in her throat, palms sweaty, Kira takes a deep breath, forces a wide smile, steps out into the hallway—and nearly crashes straight into a display case. Eyes wide, she resurrects her smile, but it feels panicked. Regardless, she carries on, adjusting her course to avoid the antique displays against the wall. _You can do this, Kira_ , she thinks adamantly. _You are beautiful, and seductive, and flirting is not terrifying. Not at all._

Right. Sure.

Kira drags her thoughts away from how very terrible this plan is—her targets are in sight. Two security guards. Tall, muscled, probably very good at their jobs. Their jobs being to keep people out of the museum's jewel display room before the afternoon show begins. For her part, Kira's job is to distract them.

“Hi!” she says, coming to a halt in front of them. They stare at her impassively. Her heart beats like it wants out of her ribcage. “How are you gentlemen doing today?”

Not even an answer.

Kira suspects her smile verges on pained. “Um,” she says. It takes a conscious reminder not to tug nervously at the hem of her short skirt. “I think I'm a little lost,” she lies. Thankfully, their terrifying stares soften, just a little bit. She exhales; her smile gets wider with relief. “Could you help me find a bathroom?” Just for good measure, she flips her hair over shoulder.

She's got this. Totally. Flirting? Not that hard. If she can make her eyes glow yellow and kick ass with a katana, she can flirt with two human men long enough for her girlfriend to slip in through the skylight, steal some diamonds, and sneak back out without being heard by the guards. Easy as pie.

“All right. If you head down this hall, and then take a left—“

“Oh,” Kira says, forcing a self-deprecating laugh, “you know, I'm terrible with directions! That's how I ended up here in the first place.” She twirls a piece of hair around her finger, leaning her weight to one side and smiling apologetically. “I'm sure you're really busy and all, but if you could just help me out really quick, that would be so great.”

Both men look unimpressed with her persuasion. In fact, they look a little suspicious.

Uh oh.

Maybe flirting really isn't that easy.

Yep, this is a bad plan. A very bad one.

Kira feels panic slipping into her seductive expression. “Um!” she says brightly. Worry stirring in her chest, she looks quickly around the hallway. It's lined on each side with glass display cases, but those are of no use to her.

A soft thump comes from the jewel room, and the guards turn to look.

“Wait!” Kira cries, but she's too late. Malia's in, and she's been spotted, and the guards are gonna attack her just because Kira can't _flirt_. Heart thrumming quickly in her chest, she looks around again. Useless empty walls, useless glass display cases...

Wait.

 _Not_ useless glass display cases. Well, the cases themselves are useless, but that curved sword in the one across the hall sure isn't.

“Hang on, Malia!” Kira calls, and darts across the hall.

She'd have thought the display cases would be bulletproof, or something badass and indestructible like that, but thank goodness they're not. The glass gives under the force of her raised foot, cracking into small pieces with a huge shattering noise. Though not indestructible, the glass, once broken, sets off an alarm that rings sharp and piercing and repetitive through the museum.

The sound of the triggered alarm makes the guards turn back. Lifting the sword in one hand, getting a feel for its weight, Kira gives them an apologetic, embarrassed smile. “Uh,” she says, “sorry about that!”

One of them starts toward her, pulling something that looks like a taser from his belt.

 _Okay_ , Kira thinks. This, she can handle. She runs forward on light feet, meeting the guard halfway. Don't hurt him, just disable him—she jumps, kicks him back enough that his attack misses, brings the butt of the sword down hard against the raised hand with the taser. He drops the weapon; Kira drops to the ground. “Sorry!” she says again. She kicks the taser. It goes spinning off across the polished stone floor. Then she's off again, re-gripping the sword and running for the guard about to reach Malia.

“Hey!” she yells. Malia, focused on carving into the diamond case, doesn't look up. The guard does. Kira's on him the next second, swinging the sword to whack the taser from his hand—but he dodges her, ducks, comes closer to shove her backward. Kira stumbles. She hangs onto her sword, manages—barely—not to crash into another display case. She grits her teeth, raises her sword, runs at him again before his attention can turn to Malia. They grapple a moment, too close for Kira to use her sword. She huffs, shoves him away with all her strength, watches him wobble backwards before he catches his balance.

And then she feels the other guard's taser at the small of her back.

Electricity tingles through her, warm and familiar.

She smiles.

She turns, gripping the taser wires both in one hand and yanking them from her body. “Sorry,” she says lightly, watching shock overtake the guard's expression, “these don't work on me.”

While he's babbling “How? What? How did you...?” Kira thwacks him in the temple with the butt of her sword, then spins, and repeats the maneuver on the other guard coming up behind her.

She glances around, lowers her sword slowly. “Malia? How's it coming?” she asks, watching the open doorway. There'll be more guards here soon, drawn by the alarm. Kira's good, but she doubts she can take on an entire museum staff of guards at once.

“Almost there,” Malia promises. “Hey, I thought we agreed to distract them _peacefully_. What happened to flirting?”

“I told you it was a bad plan,” Kira mumbles. “You know I'm no good at flirting.”

Behind her, Malia huffs. “Well, next time, let's keep the swords to a minimum, all right? We're going for _inconspicuous_ , here.”

“Hey, last time you were decoy, you left a pile of clawed-up bodies! At least I didn't actually _hurt_ anybody.”

Malia apparently has no argument for that. “All right,” she says, “got 'em. Let's get out of here.”

But there's a dull thunder of footsteps from the hallway. “You go,” Kira says, “I've got this.”

“Are you sure? I don't want to leave you—“

“Just go, Malia!” It sends a warm flutter through Kira's chest that Malia, who's always been on her own, always looks out for herself before anyone else, would risk herself for Kira—but it's kinda more incriminating if the girl actually holding the stolen diamonds gets caught.

Grumbling, Malia goes, climbing up the rope dangling from the skylight.

Kira drops her sword to the floor and kicks it away, facing the oncoming tide of guards. She makes her eyes as wide and round as they can go, makes her breathing quick and uneven.

The first guard rounds the corner. Kira hopes Malia is out of sight. “Help!” she says. “There was—there was someone in here, a man, he—he—the diamonds, and the sword, he was—he—”

The guard seems to buy it, rushing forward. “Are you all right?” he asks.

“I—I think so,” Kira says, voice small.

The guard nods. “This man; did you see which way he went?”

“He went—he went back towards the front door,” Kira lies. She holds her breath. The guard talks quickly into his radio, diverting the rest of the guards in the direction of Kira's wild goose chase. Their car is around the back of the museum, and Malia exited via the roof, not the front door. As long as this guard lets her go, they'll be fine.

“The police will need a statement from you,” he says.

Kira's heart drops into her stomach. “Oh,” she says. “Oh, of course.”

“If you'll just wait here...” the guard says, and turns to leave.

“Wait!”

He looks back. Kira twists her fingers into the hem of her skirt nervously.

“Um. D'you think there's any way I could go home and come back when the police get here? It's just, I'm still shaky, and I'd like to take a shower, and...um.”

The guard looks sympathetic, torn, but Kira can see it in his eyes that he's not gonna give in.

 _Crap_.

“Well,” he says, “I'm afraid we'll need you to stay in the building until we've taken your statement. Don't want this guy to get away, right?” Kira nods, not bothering to keep the frustration from her face. It makes sense that she'd be frustrated, if this really was just a wholly unexpected mishap in her normal, totally non-criminal day.

“Why don't you head down to our in-house restaurant, though? At least get a glass of water while you wait. The museum will cover anything else you order; it's the least we can do.”

“Oh, thank you,” Kira says, forcing a smile that she only half feels. What are the chances he'll trust her to go alone?

“Would you feel safer with an escort?”

Oh, that's right. They think she's a poor, innocent citizen who just wants to see justice served. There are certain perks that go along with being small and girly and awkward: namely, if you're secretly a big-time criminal, no one ever suspects you.

“I think I'll be all right on my own,” Kira says, smiling a little. To make it more convincing, she adds: “I'll feel better if all of you are out there looking for that man.”

The guard looks relieved. “Thank you for your understanding, ma'am,” he says before he goes. Kira barely maintains her innocent, worried expression.

She sets off to find the restaurant with light feet, the excited thrill in her veins that means they've gotten away with it, and a poorly contained smile. She walks out a back museum door without incident, the smile on her face blossoming into a full-out grin. A bag of fancy museum take-out food swings from her hand.

They're about to get away clean, and Kira managed to get a free steak out of the deal. She can't wait to see Malia's face.

**Author's Note:**

> [on tumblr](http://hauntedkira.tumblr.com/post/99358972461/scarlettwidows-said-a-kira-malia-bonnie-clyde)


End file.
